As time continues marching on, the idea of being apart from Bethany is, in some ways, becoming more and more… normal.  Stateside, I’ve adapted my routine to accommodate the fact that she is in China.  We’ve got set times that we try to be online to communicate with each other, and we still send emails back and forth.  Part of it still feels surreal to me.   As if to say, “Are we REALLY going to do this?  Are we REALLY going to live in China for two years and serve the people there?”

That’s exactly what was going through my mind today as I purchased the plane ticket this morning.  As I’ve been shopping around the last several days, I noticed the prices starting to increase every morning.  So, eager to get a good deal, I made the decision.  But right before I clicked to confirm the purchase, I stopped and thought, “Wow!  Are we REALLY going to do this?  Yes!  Yes we are!” *Click!*

Now, granted, it’s a little late to be asking that question – Bethany’s been there for a week and a half, for crying out loud!  But, up until this point, I’m not sure it was truly “real” to me.

Don’t get me wrong – we’ve been preparing for this.  From filling out paperwork, to stressing over passports and visas, to packing things up and selling things off, to buying things specifically for the trip, to saying, “Goodbye” over and over, to putting in notices with the cellphone company, landlord, bank, and other important organizations….  We’ve been preparing!  But it was something about making that $1100+ one-way purchase that moved this experience forward from “surreal” to a state of “real” for me.  Apparently I couldn’t get that by putting my wife on a plane.  I couldn’t get that by packing things up and selling them off.  It took the commitment of a *click* for my brain to TRULY trigger “I am going!”

With a month and a half left Stateside, there is still much to do.  We still need to move Bethany into a permanent Visa.  I’m picking up her Official Transcript with her degree today to get that moving in the right direction.  At that point, it’ll be my turn to get a Visa.

Until then, we’ll continue this weird “normalcy” of communicating on twelve hour increments while apart from each other.  There is still much to be done, but we are moving forward.  One day at a time, we’re moving forward.

Between the bitter-sweet “Goodbye Celebrations” that we’ve started partaking in for Bethany, beginning the process of packing up our home, fighting with the government over paperwork, and handling the news of one of my aunts entering ICU at the Hospital, these final weeks before Bethany’s departure have been strenuous to say the least! Some days have been better than others. Some days have been devastating. But we are trying to take things one day at a time.

This weekend has been especially tough on me. The attention and support I desired to show to Bethany this weekend was replaced with Bethany supporting me and my family as we gathered in honor of my aunt. We traveled a few hours north when we received word that a simple medication threw my aunt into a cardiac arrest and, therefor, into ICU. Even now, we don’t know how much damage has been done, or if she will ever recover. It truly is a “one hour at a time” situation.

In the mist of this trauma, Dad encouraged us to attend the parties that had been pre-planned for us/Bethany. His reasoning was that we couldn’t do anything by sitting at the hospital. As true as the statement was, it didn’t make it any easier to leave. We wanted to be there for my aunt (which meant be at the hospital for an individual who couldn’t even know you were there), and support my cousins and uncle.

Attending the parties was nice. It was great to hang out and celebrate with family & friends, and we are grateful for everyone who showed up to each event. The bitter-sweet aspect of the events was evident, but masked nonetheless with the encouragement of friends and family. It’ll be hard leaving behind so many who love and care for us. But we recognize that it’s not about us – it’s about the One who called us to do what we’re striving for.

I feel like I’ve been thrust into James 1:2-3, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” It’s been hard to persevere in the midst of these trials. Family and friends do make it easier. But “easier” doesn’t necessarily mean “easy.”

Usually, emotions (especially sorrow and sadness) are things that I can often hold in. We knew the parties might be hard to handle, but news of my aunt threw me into an emotional pit that was difficult to climb out of. Holding it in only caused the emotions to manifest themselves in the worst case of stuttering I’ve experienced since that time I drank 80+ ounces of Mountain Dew in 1 hour! (Let’s just say sentences were a struggle for me.)

But we’ve made it through the weekend. And my aunt is still with us – unconsciously fighting for her life every minute, but with us nonetheless. We are persevering. We are living out who we’ve been called to be, and what we’ve been called to do. Even if it hurts to leave those you love. In the end, it’s not about us. And that’s what we are consistently reminding ourselves of as we try to embrace the “pure joy” in the midst of the tribulations.

Please continue to pray for us.