Looking For A Role

Posted on November 11, 2012 by Bob

When we knew we would be making this move to China, one thing that was always up in the air was my role. We knew Bethany would be teaching, but what would I do? I’ve got a few web projects going right now, and that can certainly keep me busy, but it doesn’t directly affect the ministry that we are involved in. It doesn’t directly affect the impact (not matter how small that might be) we are trying to make to serve China.

But God is faithful. My job is to simply keep all options open as I wait to see where He wants me to be.

This past week, we had two guests visit with us in this little City. One of the leaders of Amity, the organization that placed Bethany as a teacher, and one of the leaders of the Missions Division of the United Methodist Church Global Ministries Board both came out to visit us on Monday. It was a real treat to visit with them as they checked in on us to get our feeling of how things were going. They also met with the School to see if there was any improvements that needed to be relayed to Bethany. Sitting down with each of these leaders one at a time was a special treat.

But what really made me excited during this time was when I heard that Amity MIGHT be seeking a web programmer to update their website! This is just what I’ve been hoping for – something to help keep me in the industry, as well as allow me to be directly involved in ministry and organizations over here!

I’m still keeping my options open. I have not been given this position with Amity, although I am actively seeking it. I still need to get all my information organized for them. But I have been in contact with the officials in charge of making this decision. This decision won’t come quickly. I have been praying about this possibility, and I hope that it is something that God allows to take place. Bethany and I have grown to love this organization and the work that they do in China and for China. It would be an honor to work for them.

In the mean time, we’re still working to get our residence cards. For me, this meant going to get a pretty thorough physical midway through the week. It was quite humorous for me to hear that the nurse thinks I should eat less and exercise more. If you know anything about me, then you know that I’m not what you would consider to be “overweight.” But these are China Standards, not US Standards. And by China Standards, I might just be a little overweight. Climbing several flights of stairs everyday should change that rather quickly though. As time goes on, we’ll see how much exercising really needs to take place.

So now I’m preparing to give a presentation to several classes this week. The topic – “American Culture”. I’ll be able to share several different aspects of the American Culture – from family, education, to college life, to work. It should be fun. I’m actually looking forward to it. The more exposure I get before the students, the more comfortable they can get with me, the more likely I’ll be able to get to know them, learn from them, work with them, and build relationships with them. I do want to be involved in the campus with Bethany. These small presentations will hopefully all that to continue to happen.

And that’s where I’m at with my role: Keep my programming skills sharp, seek opportunities more involved in the ministry we’re doing here, and stay involved with the campus. I might even say the last two are more important than the first.

After all, relationships are key. And we’ve been able to build a few relationships thus far. I pray that we can keep these relationships going and be able to build more. As time goes on, these will become more clear, as will my role over here. One day at a time.

Arriving, Riding, and Adjusting

Posted on October 30, 2012 by Bob

So I’ve been in China now for almost a week! In this time, I’ve reunited with Bethany, explored Beijing, rode in a Chinese train, subway, bus, and taxi on multiple occasions, and spoken in several classes! I’ve seen several of the JiNing marketplaces, eaten at many of the restaurants, and even tried a couple bakeries! Sometimes I think to myself, “What have we gotten ourselves into!” But in the end, I can do nothing but smile, knowing that this is where God has placed us.

Out of all the differences between China and America, the one that stands out to me the most is the roadways. In China, the drivers are very aggressive. Swerving in and out of lanes is simply part of driving. If you aren’t honking your horn for people, bikes and other cars to get out of your way, then you are part of the problem and need to get out of someone else’s way! The traffic lights are strictly observed, but the painted lines on the road are optional at best. Traffic police are there to simply make sure traffic keeps flowing, so you can forget about enforcing anything.

Obviously, this kind of driving would cause many accidents in America. Yet, somehow, it works very well in China! I have yet to see a single accident in my time in the country! To be honest, it is very impressive!

As I’ve attended classes with Bethany, I’ve learned how grateful the University is to have native English speakers around. I’ve spoken in all of Bethany’s classes this week, made plans to speak in another teacher’s class, and also dropped into a third teacher’s classroom today and tomorrow! Not only does this give me quite a bit of exposure to the students, but also to the teachers as well. I personally think this is going to be crucial in developing relationships with the people here.

Assisting Bethany in class this week has been fun. I taken on my traditional role as the ridiculous, silly “Měiguó de” (American). As Bethany is teaching about different aspects of Halloween this week, I’ve been her sound box, making all the necessary sound effects as we come across the appropriate vocabulary words – howling, shrieking, cackling…. It’s been a lot of fun. We even played charades with the Halloween vocabulary. I went first with my werewolf impression to start the game off. If it can make me seem more lighthearted and approachable, it will be well worth it.

Living here certainly will have it’s challenges. Right now, we are limited to restaurants with pictures on their menus. Bethany discovered what bus will take us to the market, not by reading the Chinese bus schedule, but by walking there and seeing what buses pass by. Holding up fingers to represent quantities is crucial. Adapting to the Chinese standard of appliances and comfort is certainly shaping me. Learning the language is slow at best – if not stagnant at times. But all of these can be overcome. It’s just a matter of time.

So the goal right now is to get settled in and into a rhythm – a much needed part of my personality. This rhythm will help with building relationships, allow us to plan things out, and give me mental consistency. As for now, as I seek out the basic patterns for the needed rhythm, I’m simply enjoying the ride, even if that ride might be swerving through traffic.

Finding Center

Posted on October 28, 2012 by Bethany

On my first day in JiNing, I sat on my couch and talked with my fellow teacher Leslie about all of the tasks that lay before me: adjusting to a new culture, unpacking into my new apartment, teaching, and worst of all- being without my husband for another month. Even though there was much to do, the Lord had filled my heart with so much hope and joy. I was doing what he had been calling me to do for ten years and the joy of fulfilling his will was supplying my heart with enough hope to keep going. On that first day God reminded me that my hope was founded in the right place- he gave me this beautiful sunny day rainbow which to me was a promise that he was with me and that I was truly following his will. It felt like the embodiment of the hope I had for my future in China.

While life was busy, training in August and getting settled in JiNing, the lacking presence of my husband was easier to deal with than I had thought. I longed for him to be with me, but I understood that I was making a new life for us and it helped me be focus and strong. Particularly because everything I was doing was for US and it made me feel like my husband was still apart of my life.

Sadly, the feeling and strength didn’t last. As things settled down in JiNing and basic needs had been met, I had more time to think. I had more time to think about how horrible of a teacher I am. I had time to think about how much heavier and more giant like I am compared to Chinese women. I even had time to think about coming back in the next few years and finding that all of my friends had moved on without me and that some of the friendships that I cherished would be gone or less deep than they had been. I didn’t need the devil whispering in my ear for me to fall away for the joy that God had given me. My own self doubt had proved worthy of that task and in the midst of my doubt my sense of loneliness also grew. I missed my husband terribly. I felt the same way I did the day I got lost in the rain storm when I was 5 years old- lost in the dark with the weight of a storm bearing down on me and no one to help me find my way out of it. I blamed all of this on the lack of husband in my life. I wanted him to pull me close and tell me it was going to be okay, that I was beautiful, and that with time everything would fall into place. He’s been doing this for me for so long; I had forgotten how much I relied on him.

I tried to endure. I told myself that I wouldn’t cry, that I wouldn’t think about how lonely I am, I would just keep going. I focused on the positive things in my life, like my blossoming friendship with Sarah, my time with students, and the new things I was discovering all over town. I poured myself into these things, trying to keep my mind busy. Still, it wasn’t enough. When I discovered that I would not be getting my husband back at the beginning of October, like a rubber band that had been stretched to far, I snapped. I laid in bed for days, unwilling to keep pretending that I was making a life for a husband that wasn’t coming for several weeks. I couldn’t put on a happy face and just keep going. I was done with it. I threw fits and was overwhelmed with moments of anger, yes anger, and despair. I went to school, I taught class, and then I went home. That was all I wanted to do.

Then one day, a deep chilly and windy rain came into town. I didn’t have anything buy a jacket at the time and I braved my way through it to school in that morning. It made my misery seem more miserable and in someway trudging through it made me feel right at home. I taught class to students who seemed like they would rather be in bed and then I began my journey home. As I stepped out into the cold and wind, the sun had decided to peak through the clouds and graced me with a moment of warmth. And though I was still standing in the pouring rain, I stopped to look up at the rainbow that had formed in the glimmering light of the sun. My heart both sank and sang at it sight. How had I forgotten the rainbow that God had given me on that first day I was in JiNing and all the hope it had carried with it. As I peered up at the rainbow, thinking about what it had meant to me, a small voice in the back of my head thought, you can’t have rainbows without rain.

God is the sun, he is the light in my life, but sometimes that is easy to forget when everyday seems bright and cheerful. It’s only in the rain that we can see the full depth of his love and promise for us, its only in the rain that we can have rainbows. For me it seemed like it had been raining for nearly a month and I new that there was more rain ahead, but in the midst of all that rain I had forgotten that God was still with me, hiding just behind the clouds. He has given me a rainbow on my first day in JiNing to tell me that he was with me and he had given me another one to remind me that he never left.

I laid in bed that day with a big smile on my face, still my heart was heavy, because I had forgotten who it was that my life was suppose to be centered around. For years I have let other things in my life, my husband and my ability to serve others, become part of my focus and foundation. Certainly I didn’t forget about God or lack a desire to do his will, but still by all practicality I hadn’t let him and him alone be the foundation of my strength. It was only because of this that I had let myself into such sorrow over the absence of my husband. Laying there I decided I wasn’t going to be sad anymore, I would let God be my strength and put my hope in him once more. With every frustrating delay, with every bad school day, and with every cultural mishap I wasn’t going to let myself worry. I would simply trust in God.

The past few weeks since then have been amazing for me. There have been lots of things I could have been upset about, but instead I’ve laughed and said oh well. There have been times where I could have been stubborn or thought about missing my home, but instead I’ve embraced the moment. God brought me here; he’s given me all of these things because he knows what is best for me- why fret, instead I’m just going to enjoy the ride with God at my center.

This week, God has brought my husband and I back together. I’m so excited about what he has planned for us inChina. I feel more centered and stronger than I have in a long time- and it’s not my husbands or my doing.

Thank you Lord for the good and the hard times, for every and anything that brings me closer to you.

Overwhelmed With Love

Posted on September 16, 2012 by Bob

Have you ever been in a situation where an act of service kinda seemed small or unimportant, but the outcome meant so much to somebody? Yeah, I’m sitting on the tail end of the latter. Words are hard to describe where I am after what I experienced today.

I realized something was up when I started getting emails and phone calls from people regarding helping me get things done. I wasn’t aware of it at first, but my bride sent out an emergency email to our community of faith, and they responded. One gentleman (a Master Organizer) put together an event within our congregation to help me out in my packing and moving process – and boy did I need it! It wasn’t that I didn’t want help, it was more that I didn’t know HOW the help could help.

Several people came over after church and not only helped me organize what was still here, but this community of faith brought over food, helped sort, helped pack, helped sell! I never could imagine that so much could be done in so little time! Overwhelming! Absolutely overwhelming!

There’s a man in this congregation (he wasn’t part of this group) who I greatly respect and look up to. He’s a big fan of Mother Teresa. One of his favorite quotes from Mother Teresa says, “Not all of us can do great things. But we can all do small things with great love.”

That’s exactly what happened today! It was a small thing for many of them to come out here and partake in this endeavor. It was probably a small thing to drop off some food, or packing tape, or spend a few hours leading, or a few hours numbering bins, etc. But it was the amazing amount of love and generosity that was shown that blew me away.

I mean, I know these people. I know their loving hearts and kindness. That’s why I’m in community with them. But I’m not usually on this end of it! I’m usually the one serving right there with them.

This truly increases my understanding of how important it is to receive help and service and love if you are going to give it. This truth is something I’ve been working on for a few years. It’s always been easy for me to give of myself, but to receive help has always been difficult. But if God wants give a blessing through someone else, who am I tell Him, “No, that’s OK. I’ve got it.” How egotistical and selfish is that?!

During these last few days, I’ll be getting out of my apartment and moving in with a family from this same community of faith. I am excited to receive this blessing, and hope my gratitude can been conveyed well. There’s still a lot to do over the next couple of days to get out of here, but I’m so much closer now than I was this morning. And I’m more overwhelmed with love than I’ve been in a long time!

Happy B-day to me!

Posted on September 9, 2012 by Bethany

Me and my birthday cookie. I also had cheesecake, milk tea, and two special lunch breads (I ate one for dinner).

Just in case you didn’t know, I am finally settling in here in JiNing. I have had to opportunity to really experience lots of culture shock, beginning with a not so private physical in Hohhot. So far I have been without water, without internet, without a flushing toilet, without language, without food, without a mattress, and so on. Things have been hard, but they are still livable. A lot of it is just part of moving too. I know eventually I will settle in and things will get better, including my teaching skills. Still today has been the hardest yet, because I am without my wonderful friends and family.

Today is my birthday and I have primarily spent it alone. Though I did treat myself a little bit to some special treats and, of course, all of the wonderful messages I have received today have been amazing. I have even gotten happy birthday wishes from friends who I’ve barely spoken too since I left Starbucks (I fact I deeply regret). Still, as much as I appreciate all of the love, I want to cry. All I can think about is how much I want to be with those people, spending time with them. Today I have thought about my days at Starbucks. I think about being there late in the evening with the last few rays of sunlight beaming through the drive through window, things are a little slower and I’m behind the bar talking to people as I make drinks. I’ve missed this for quite sometime now, but the thought that it was always just right down the road was more comforting than being thousands of miles away. I also miss sitting in the BCM or in Zak Kratzer’s apartment until all hours of the night playing games, watching movies, and sharing our lives together. My time with those people are some of the most precious memories of my life. Praising the Lord with my family at Northridge. Goodness, I could really use some of that today. Cuddling up next to my mom to watch/analyse a movie. Sleeping next to my husband. I miss it all so much. It’s such a blessing to know that you have so many people who love you, but sometimes that also makes it harder to leave. I miss you all so much it hurts sometimes.

I know the Lord is with me and that he gives me strength, but I still want to be with all of you. I guess I will probably feel that way about several Chinese people when I leave this place too. I am already building new relationships here, but good relationships take time to grow. I guess all of this is suppose to be a lesson I will have to learn, though I’m still not exactly sure what I will learn from it just yet.

Think of me tonight, pray for me, and keep sending me those wonderful messages. This way at least you will be with me here in spirit. Also, pray for Bob. He is still raising funds, packing, training, and being totally overwhelmed by what is left to do in Kentucky. Please, if there is anything you can do to help, please do so. My husband is not always so great at asking for help, but he surely needs it right now.

I love you all so much!

Bethany Keith