Cultural Differences – Part 3 – Social Behaviors

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Behavior in public is often the first impression that a society gives to the rest of the world about it’s people. The People in France are often viewed as romantic, but rude.  From the European perspective, Americans are often viewed as fake due to our constant, “Have a nice day!” conversation ending pleasantries that have no real value. (“Oh, I was planning to have an awful day, but now that you told me to, I guess I will have a nice one instead.”)

China is no different in this regard. There are behaviors that often stereotype the people and who they are. Now, I want to be careful with this post. I want to make sure that what is said here isn’t taken the wrong way. Many times when we see things that see so bizarre to us, or so opposite, we simply write the action off as “wrong,” “rude,” or “bad.”  My goal is to ensure this post does NOT relay these ideas about China.

Suppose I went to a country with tribal people where everyone walked around without any clothing on the upper half of their body – men and women alike.  Although it would not be acceptable in a Western culture, it wouldn’t make those people “bad” or “wrong” to live this way – merely different. Very, very different.  I’m not trying equate the behaviors of our small, country city in China to an unreached tribe (although many Chinese from big cities might say that I should), I’m simply trying to point out that different cultural behaviors – no matter how extreme they might seem – are not necessarily wrong, even if we wouldn’t accept them in the West.

Also keep in mind that much of social behaviors I witness come from my small city.  In many ways, this city is as different from Beijing and other big cities as the “country folk” are different from the “urbanites” in America. (Maybe that’s why we love this city so much!) So the following behaviors, although likely present in other big cities, are not necessarily a reflection of China as a whole.  Many of the big cities have already made great strides to change some of these behaviors.

Spitting

One of the behaviors that really caught me off guard when I came to China was how the people believe that removing of spit from your body as soon as possible is viewed as healthy. As a result, spitting is very common in public.  Now, when I say “spitting,” I don’t mean a quiet-remove-it-from-your-mouth kind of spit.  I mean a loud-pull-it-from-the-back-of-your-throat-and-honk-a-big-lugy kind of spit. It happens all over, especially from older men.  Location doesn’t matter too much, but indoors does seem to be less common. To be honest, it makes me cringe every time I hear it, but it’s simply a cultural difference that won’t change any time soon.  The younger men don’t seem to do this as much, but maybe they don’t have as much to get rid of from their system like the older men do.

So how do you handle this? 1) When you hear it coming, don’t watch. 2) Always watch where you’re stepping. 3) NEVER, whenever possible, step in an area where it’s wet on the sidewalk. If it wasn’t spit, it might be other liquid waste (from a nearby local business, or from somewhere else you don’t want to know about).

Smoking

It’s interesting to me how common it is for men to smoke in China.  It kinda reminds me of the 1950’s or 60’s in that regard. I’d guess that about 80-90% of all men smoke in our city. It’s so common place, and very hard to avoid – on the street, bus, in the office, in restaurants, other places you can’t avoid it…. Frustrating? Yes. This seems a little less common in bigger cities.

Not only that, but it seems almost taboo for women to smoke. After being here for nearly a year, I’ve seen less than 5 women smoking in public, and two of those were on short visits to a big city nearby, as if this idea were to be changing among women there! Will smoking become taboo in the coming generations, much the way it is becoming in the U.S.? If the students at the College are any representation of that, then I say, “No. Not for a long time.”

Driving

I’ve spoken about driving in china once a long while back in an earlier post. The thing about driving is that it’s all about expectations.  If you EXPECT people to keep their lane, drive in a straight line, or use their turn signals, then you become completely caught off guard when it doesn’t happen, and accidents occur.  However, if you EXPECT to be cut off, people to pull out in front of you, or for there to be 4 cars side-by-side on a 3 lane road, then it doesn’t surprise you at all when those things occur.  You can be ready for them. You see it happen before it happens. You’re looking for it, even.

The latter is very much how things are in China. It might come as a great surprise to many of you that this works VERY WELL in China. After being here for almost one year, I probably see one accident a month.  Most of those accidents tend to involve large vehicles hitting small motor bikes. Not bad for a city with nearly 50% more people in it than Lexington, KY crammed in about half the space.

One thing to remember, though, is that people with cars typically believe that they ALWAYS have the right away.  They won’t stop for you. They likely will hit you. Don’t tempt them.  It doesn’t matter if you’re in a car, on a bike, or on foot.  Don’t tempt them.  If it’s a bus that’s coming, you BETTER move.  They know they are bigger than all other vehicles, and they use it to their advantage.  But, then again, there are special rules about bus driving – the city gives them special privileges to ensure they stay on time for their routes. So maybe it isn’t “taking advantage” of the situation.  Either way, they aren’t stopping!

Honking

I’m not sure what it is about the Chinese and their car horns, but they love to honk them.  Maybe it’s some inner desire for attention. Maybe they see the car horn the same way we see people standing outside singing Christmas Carols.  Maybe they want their friends in the other cars to notice them. (They must have a LOT of friends!) Maybe there’s some sort of secret horn orchestra that takes place that we don’t know about. Whatever the case might be, the Chinese love to honk their car horns, no matter what time of day or night it might be.

In all honesty, most of the time it seems to be a way of saying, “Hey! I’m here! You better move!” to those walking along the street, or the cars around them.  Sometimes it seems pretty pointless.  “I’m walking on the sidewalk. There’s no one else around. Why are you honking?”

If you, however, are driving and at a stop light, it turns green, and you don’t go right then and there… You might as well have committed a heinous crime.  You won’t get a friendly, half second, “beep” from the car behind you. Oh no.  You’ll get a 10 second long chorus of honks from the next 3-7 cars behind you! Don’t you DARE not go as soon as that light is green! And don’t you DARE hold up traffic in any way!

Queuing

This seems hard for many in the West to understand, but the art of waiting in line is not something that comes naturally or easily to China.  In fact this situation was so bad, that from February 11, 2007 till the start of the 2008 Beijing Olympics, every 11th day of the month was declared a National Queuing Day by the government. On this day, people were suppose to practice waiting in lines for the bus, checking out at the grocery store, and many other things that require one-at-a-time cooperation. It’s something that seems quite odd, but the government realized that this cultural difference would cause serious problems with the expectations of the rest of the world as all eyes shifted to Beijing in 2008.

The Olympics were 5 years ago, and I wasn’t here to see the “before” situation. What I have seen in the “after” is a culture where queuing is still, at the very least, not preferred. When you go to the bank or to buy tickets at the train station, there will likely be a very narrow lanes setup with a waist high turn style at the end that ensures only one person can be in front of the window at a time to do business. Getting on the bus is likely to look like a glob of people funneling in, not a line. I’m sure things are better than they were, but culture doesn’t change easily.

Last fall, when I was flying to China for the first time, I had a short layover in Toronto.  From there, it was a direct flight on a 777 into Beijing.  As the plane started boarding, they only wanted to board certain rows first in an effort to be efficient and orderly.  Well, despite the broadcast of the request in English, French, and Chinese, the Chinese passengers could care less, and tried to force their way onto the plane as a mob.  I felt sorry for the attendant who was trying to check tickets, and had to tell 14 out of every 15 people to “Stand aside! Your row isn’t being boarded yet!”  Undoubtedly, the mass majority of the people who had to “stand aside” were Chinese. As time passed, those standing aside slowly began inching their way back closer and closer to the entry gate until they were yelled at once again.

Has this issue changed in China? I’m sure it has.  I’m sure it’s better than it was in February 2007. Yet, keep in mind, that the previous story was October 2012! Does this make them “bad” people? No, not in the least.  Just a very different cultural behavior that is often viewed negatively by much of the rest of the world. Is it “wrong”? That depends on where you are.  In China, it’s not wrong at all. The lack of queuing is a way of life.  It’s also something the government has recognized and has tried, to some degree, to address.

 

Let me reiterate here that these are not meant to be derogatory remarks regarding China.  We truly do love the people here. Yet, sometimes cultural differences can be quite challenging to overcome and adjust to. This is certainly true for differences listed here today.  It doesn’t make the people “evil,” “backwards,” or “ignorant.” It’s simply a different way of life. And it creates some really neat discussions!

Cultural Differences – Part 2 Technology

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One of the measures of the status or “development” of a country is the state of their technology – what they have access to and how they use it. As a tech guy myself, this is something that really intrigued me about coming to China. What intrigues me isn’t necessarily what they don’t have, as much as it’s how they use what they do have. Sure, there are some technological limitations, but the reasons for these limitations and how they handle the limitations might surprise you.

Cell Phones

What some people don’t realize is that cell phones have become an integral part of living on this planet, no matter what country you live in. Even Haiti – the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere – has a high reliance on cell phones. I would argue that cell phone usage is more important in other countries than they are in the USA.

Cell phones in China is no different. No matter how rich or poor you are, everyone seems to have a cell phone. You want a smart phone? No problem! They have them here – Samsung Galaxy 3 and the iPhone 5 are easily obtained here… but expect to pay the same as you would in the States for them! With the income differences, that can be a huge chunk of change! Or you can choose one of the hundreds of knockoffs running the Android OS for about $160.

Cell phone usage, however, is a little different here. For example, in China it’s much cheaper to send a text than to call someone. Some people even have cell plans that have very little voice time at all. You text everyone. Once your monthly allotment of texts run out, you can still receive texts from others (you’re only changed to send texts), but you won’t be able to send texts until you head to the store and add more money to the account.

What amazed me most about cell phone usage was how they are used for nearly EVERYTHING in China. Sure, we use our smartphones for quite a bit in the States, but do you take customer orders with it while working at a restaurant? They do in China. What about communicating with your boss, fellow teachers, and students? In China, you don’t rely on email for these tasks, it’s cell phones. There is no piece of technology that’s more crucial to the Chinese than the cellphone.

Computers, Printers, and Prices

The computer is pretty important to life in the West. When it comes to business, it’s also important in China. But for personal use you won’t find one for every person in the house. You’ll probably see one that people will use to watch videos, but that’s about it. Sure people have email here, but I don’t find it being used that often outside of work.

It’s not that they don’t have computers here – many people have computers. Most of them are still running Windows XP on REALLY old hardware, but they have them. (You remember Windows XP – that operating system that released in 2001 that has so many security holes by modern standards, won’t run most modern programs, won’t support above 4 GB of RAM, can’t use Internet Explorer 9 or above, … yeah THAT one!) It’s just that computers are so expensive here! Although the incomes here are dramatically less than in the States, after the exchange rate the cost of a computer is nearly identical! So the percentage of income it would take to buy a computer here is SIGNIFICANTLY higher! However, as incomes rapidly change here, and currency exchange rates change over the long term, I see this situation changing as well.

As far as the students, there really aren’t any “computer labs” on campus for students to use. Many of them hit up the Internet Cafes or a few select teacher offices to use computers. Typing up papers? I doesn’t happen. All homework is hand-written and turned in as such. Teachers realize limited access students have to computers, and don’t even think twice about the hand-written assignments. I’ve never seen a college student here type up an assignment.

With that being said, Bethany, as a teacher, will still type and print assignments, study guides, and other things for her classes. When she goes to print it off at school or even at home, we realize the main cost in China isn’t the ink/toner like it is in the States – it’s the paper! The $3 ream of paper apparently costs much more than the ink that’s printed on it. “Sure you can use the printer. Just make sure you bring your own paper from your office.”

Electricity

In many ways the same “cost per income” analysis is true for electricity. Our school takes care of our utility needs, but the average Chinese resident deals with a significantly higher “cost per income” to pay their electric bill – and most people don’t use electric heating/cooling units!

This becomes a big deal when it comes to student dorms. Here, the University has keeps strict control on power usage. They have to keep their costs down, so they turn the lights on in the entire building at X time in the morning, and turn them off at Y time in the day. The same happen at night – they come on at X time, and they get shut off at Y time at night. This is true for the whole building. Wasting electricity is a big deal here.

Our Technology

Coming to China, one of my biggest fears was limited technological access. To be honest, there is still a lot of access to technology. What the area might lack in computers, they make up for in cell phone usage. We have Internet access, electricity, and cell phones. The school even supplied us with a computer for Bethany to use. Granted, it is an older computer by our standards, and we did bring our laptops to China with us, but it’s the gesture that counts. So many of those fears were unfounded.

Sure, in this small town, our electricity may go out once or twice a month, and our Internet access may be slower than those in the States, but we have it. That’s all we really care about. Things may be different, but they work.

For long-distance communication, we primarily use Skype and the Magic Jack we picked up in the States before we left, as well as a few other technologies. Those two specifically have been huge blessing for staying connected to our families and friends. We even use Skype to attend church with our community of Faith in Kentucky! Magic Jack is nice because it gives us a Kentucky telephone number that is local for our friends and family to call!

While there are some strong technological differences between our cultures, I’m impressed with the ways the supposed-limitations are handled here. It’s neat to me to see the new ways that common technology is used, and how the culture handles the associated costs of technology.

As China continues to improve it’s infrastructure, the technology will continue to change and grow as well. It may take some time, but they are improving here at a very rapid pace. It is that rapid pace that will propel China through those “development” ranks. Is it too fast? Are they moving too aggressively? Are the people even able to keep up with the changes? That depends on who you ask. Whatever the answer, it doesn’t change the truth of the situation: China is developing quickly!

Cultural Differences – Part 1 Food

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Whenever you move from one location to another, the first things you tend to notice are the similarities and differences between the two places. More common than not, it’s the differences that tend to stand out. It doesn’t matter if you go from the city to the country, from the South to the North, or half way around the planet – there are always differences to notice. And, boy do we notice them.

Culture differences can be a struggle sometimes, because they usually involve how we interact with other people. It involves behaviors and sayings. It involves our environment, and what we buy and how we live.

Now, “differences” doesn’t mean “good” or “bad,” it simply means “different.”  Whether they are “good” or “bad” can be open to debate – and that’s not what this series is about. This is meant to be more of a factual, “Here is what we’ve experienced in our part of China,” declaration. And to start this first declaration will involve one of my favorite topics: Food!

Eating Habits

Every culture has different tastes and desires in food. The tastes of the citizens of China vary as greatly as the people groups. With 56 different officially recognized ethnic groups in China, there is no single set standard on what exactly is “Chinese” food. One of the joys this creates is that ordering the same dish in a different location can be a totally different experience! One experience that you should not expect, though, is for real Chinese food to taste like “American Chinese” food – these two are completely different, and have very little similarities (other than using rice and noodles).

Some areas of China rarely eat meat, such as in the south, whereas other areas of China tend to have meat quite often, such where we are in the North. Where meat is a staple for a most meals in American homes, meals here will always have rice, noodles, or a pancake – a kind of flaky flat bread made from flour, water, egg, and maybe a few other ingredients, but prepared very differently from a Western pancake – as a staple instead.

Another thing to understand is that the Chinese are a very health-conscious people. You could say they were “organic” long before it was cool in America. It’s not common to buy frozen or pre-made foods for meals, although the younger generations seem to be more open to the idea. To indicate that something might have been genetically or hormonally modified/altered/enhanced will completely turn them off to such a product.

Speaking of product turn offs, one of the biggest adjustments we’ve had to make in our eating habits here is ensuring that we don’t buy or order fish, unless we’re prepared to de-bone it ourselves. In China, the bones – and even the head! – are believed to be very nutritious, which may just be true, but it’s not something I’m willing to swallow (pun intended).

Restaurants

But, to be honest, ordering food at all can be difficult when you have trouble speaking the language, let alone reading it. Sure, we try to speak Mandarin Chinese, and we are getting better, but it’s certainly not a simple language – and it’s made more complex when the people group you live with speak a different dialect of Mandarin than you are learning. Yet, progress is still progress.

So, to remedy this language barrier problem, we tend to stick with restaurants that have picture menus. This creates an easy, point-and-order, kind of situation that makes everyone feel more comfortable.  To be able to walk into a restaurant, see a dish with noodles, beef, potatoes, and vegetables, point at it, and know this is what I’m getting is a nice feeling. Playing “Menu Roulette” is something that doesn’t always end up very well. Ordering “cold lambs liver” may be a unique cultural dish, but it’s not a dish experience that Bethany would like to repeat.

Shopping

One thing to realize, though is that we don’t often eat at restaurants. Most of the time, we cook at home with food we buy from the market. Oh, how we love the market!

Where most vegetables come with a rather high price tag in the States, buying vegetables in China is extremely affordable! For less than $8 USD, we are able to pick up a weeks worth of vegetables for lunch and dinner, where the veges themselves make up about 50% of the meals! A $1.50 bell pepper in the States costs about $.50 USD here.  A weeks worth of potatoes (being the staple ingredient about every 3rd meal) costs just over $2 USD.  Eggs are about the same price – about $1.50 USD a dozen – but I’m confident that ours were gathered up probably that morning or the day before.

Most of the foods we buy are the same or similar to what you can buy in the States, but there are some differences. One such food that we buy is a Chinese cabbage called “bok choy” 白菜. Bethany really enjoys mixing this into our meals to give us some healthy green nutrition. Simply being able to afford to cook with such a large variety of vegetables is a great joy for us!

Western Food

One of the other big cultural differences with food comes in how the Chinese understand Western food. In our town, we have three Western restaurants to choose from: One is a nice, sit down restaurant, one is KFC, and the last is Dico’s (a Chinese version of KFC). So there’s “Fancy,” “Chicken,” or “chicken”.

Now, the KFC menu in China is NOT like the KFC menu in America.  There main seller is not a big bucket of chicken. Instead, they primarily sell various chicken sandwiches. But they won’t be called “chicken sandwiches” here.  I’m not sure why, but anything that is placed between two pieces of bread seems to earn the label “hamburger.” So, KFC sticks a piece of chicken between two pieces of bread, and that now is labeled a “hamburger.” Sure, you can still order that bucket of chicken if you want – it’s in a small square at the bottom right of the menu – but I have yet to see any Chinese order it.

One thing to be aware of is that drink sizes are quite different. Most places give you the choice of a small 12 ounce cup or a medium 16 ounce cup. You can’t find a 20 ounce cup here. This might be different in other larger cities – maybe at a McDonald’s for example – I don’t know.  What I do know is that I haven’t seen it.

While there certainly a large amount of cultural differences between our countries, it has been a blast learning about them! Food is one of those things that not only divide people but also unite them. It’s through food and meals that many meaning conversations can happen. It’s through food and meals that personalities often come out the most. Jesus spent a lot of time speaking with and getting to know people through meals. As we continue to get to know  more and more students and teachers here in China, there will likely be a lot of love shown over food.

Crawling Forward

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It’s been two and a half months. Has that much time already passed? Two and a half months… since I received that phone call. Two and a half months since….

When you go overseas or simply travel long distances, one of your greatest fears – one of your nightmares – is that something will happen to the people you love and left behind, and there will be nothing you can do about it. It’s been two and a half months since that nightmare became a reality for me.

I’ve held off writing this because I knew it would be one of the hardest things I’d ever write, but I also knew it would be the first thing that needed to be written… eventually. How do you express the pain of losing your Father? Where do you go from here? How do you make it from one day to the next? Why is there even a “next” day?

The truth is, I don’t WANT to go on! I don’t WANT to move forward! Not without my father! Not without my Daddy!

But I guess I don’t have choice, do I? We don’t get a choice in this. We simply have to accept it. And move forward.

No, that’s not right. To “move forward” implies a willingness, even reluctant willingness, to take steps in a given direction at a given pace. That’s not me. That’s not what I’m doing.

Crawling forward. That’s more fitting. A slow movement on your hands and knees as you struggle to find the strength to push on. Crawling forward. Two and half months of crawling. And weeping.

I still have nightmares reliving that call. I still remember that plane ride. The sorrow. The mourning. But there was something else there, as well, from God. I don’t want to call it “peace,” but it was definitely a sense of, “I understand your pain and am here for you.” It wasn’t “comfort,” but it was a little “comforting.”

The tragedt happened in the middle of the night, Wednesday morning, China-time. My gracious uncle got us a flight for Thursday. We were in Kentucky by Thursday night EST. The Service was on Friday. WHAT A MIRACLE IT WAS FOR US TO EVEN BE THERE! How is that for being “here for you”? Praise God!

You know, one of the big problems with such a sharp transition is that it all feels surreal. When you make a big transition like that, most of the time you spend long periods of time preparing for it, anticipating it, awaiting it. But to transition so suddenly, in less than 48 hours, you don’t get that anticipation. It feels… fake.

You begin to question the recent events. “Am I really in the United States? Did I even go to China? Is this all a nightmare? Was China just a dream?” And then you do the same thing, asking the same questions, two weeks later, when you head back to where you were – to where you know God wants you to be.

But how can you head back? How can you just pick up where you left off? How do you just move on?

In some regards, you don’t pick up, and you don’t move on. Sure, time will push us forward, reluctantly, unwillingly. But we are not the same person. A piece of you is forever gone.

In some regards, you simply have to. You have to remember that God’s ways are not our ways. You have to remember that we are here for His glory, not our own. Besides, it’s what Dad would have wanted – to continue the work God called us to do.

Does that make it easier? Maybe, maybe not. But we must, somewhere, somehow, find a way to go forward. Maybe not “move” forward. Maybe “crawl” forward. If we don’t, then we’ll become like stagnant water – dirty, smelly, worthless.

After all, we are here for a greater purpose. We are here to bring glory to God. If I’m not striving to head forward in that direction, than what good am I? If I’m not trying to bring glory to God, then why am I even here?

Has it been hard? Absolutely. Does it get easier each day? Not really, I just get better at hiding it. Do I blame or hate God for it? Not really – His ways are not my ways. Am I getting through it and going forward?

One crawl at a time.

Out of The Darkness and Into The Light

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March has been one interesting month for us. There’s been quite a bit of struggle here as we’ve worked to clear up some confusion with my Visa. In the process, there were several inquiries regarding what I’m doing – Web Development and on campus assistance. Needless to say, this website came up. Not knowing how the local authorities would react to our outspoken faith on this site, we thought it would be best to go dark for a few weeks until the situation blew over.

This was not an act of “shame” or “hiding” our faith. This was an assurance that what we do online – with an audience in the US – doesn’t hinder the legal, appropriate, and honest work we are trying to do here. With as fickle as the local authorities can be, it might have done just that. The end result would be me being deported without a renewed Visa.

We are very honest with those around us about the fact we are Christians. It’s no secret in the department or to those who have seen us get go out on Sunday morning with our Bible in hand. But none of that involves speaking our minds. And those are all within the parameters that can be controlled, whereas this site is not something the local government has any say over, which could become a threatening situation, possibly. So rather than take that chance and ruin what is being planted/started here, we figured a few weeks of silence here was a better approach.

And those few weeks are up! And with it came an awesome Easter!

As we do most Sundays, we spent this Resurrection Sunday in one of the local churches. It was absolutely packed! In a rather large building that could easily seat 150-200 people, they were struggling to find seats for everyone! They were pulling folding chairs out of closets and scrunching everyone together to ensure everyone had a seat. It was awesome to see a House of God packed! But, the best was yet to come.

At the end of the 1 hour 45 minute message (1 Corinthians 15, 1 Peter 4, Mark 15, Romans 10, we were all over the Scriptures this morning!) we saw the power of God at work. Eight people in the crowd stood up. With another phrase from the pastor, the eight came up front where church elders met them. As one Body, we prayed with them, and as one Body, we cheered! Eight more lives were brought into the Light of Christ today!

It was wonderful to witness the grace of God calling more into the kingdom! I find it powerful to be able to see this take place, knowing that even when you don’t see it – even when you can barely understand a few of the words being spoken around you – the power of God is bigger than all of it.

God is at work all around us, in every culture, in every country. You may not always notice it. You may not be able to understand it. But when He moves, there’s no denying it. Redemption is always possible – no one is beyond hope… but Bethany will talk more about that later on this week! 🙂